University of Brattleboro

What follows is another interview in a series of interviews with Dr Balderdash, wherein he describes treasure hunts you can do with you children, or, on your own.Q: So, as I understand it, like a lot the puzzles provided by the University of Brattleboro, this one features $100 in coins that were hidden somewhere. What makes this puzzler different than any of the other puzzles you have found in T. P. James' notebooks? Dr. Balderdash: Yes, this is one of our "coin treasure puzzler hunts." T. P. James selected the container, which is an antique Japanese "Sumi-E," dragonfly vase, (which could be more valuable than the coins inside it. Or maybe not.) So, there is treasure out there. We often ask people to replace the treasure they find with a new treasure of equal value, but if you find vase, feel free to keep it, and the money too. This hunt is like a bunch of people running after the prize. And if you go for goodness sake, no shovels, no metal detectors! They are not needed, they won't help you, and they are despised! Q: Right. Is there anything else that makes this treasure hunt unique? Dr. Balderdash: First this puzzler pretty much proves T. P. James was either psychic, or prophetic, though he would not have used those words. (He would have said that Charles Dickens' ghost told him what to write.) Secondly, in a notebook entry from 1893, T. P. James claimed that people in the future would not be able to solve the puzzle using what he called "Unnatural Logic Machines." He was clearly referring to AI. Also, in the past T. P. James wrote cryptograms. This puzzler is a series of numbers, but it's not really a cryptogram. The best way to understand how to solve this puzzle is to read the first chapter of, "The Valley of Fear," by Arthur Conan Doyle. (It's a great chapter to read or, to read aloud to children.) You need to figure out which is the best book to use as a key to decode the numbers. You'll have to guess what portion of the book to use. You should not follow the example in the Sherlock Holmes story exactly, but, it will give you a feel as to how to proceed. You'll be using "abduction," a kind of logic humans are especially good at, and you have way more clues than Sherlock Holmes. The University of Brattleboro has decoded his message, and submitted those clues to three different AIs. None of them were able to figure out where the treasure was hidden.Q: Do you have to go to Chicago, to decode the message or solve the clues? Dr. Balderdash: No. T. P. James went to Chicago in 1893, stole the vase, and hid it somewhere in the city. But you can figure it all out from anywhere. Q: Stole? He stole the vase? Dr. Balderdash: Well, yes. It was at the world's fair. Here are his exact words, taken from his notebook: "The moment I saw the vase, and took in the gracefulness of the dragonfly, I knew I was destined to have it, and it wouldn't be stealing if I took it." Q: Wait, what did he mean by "destined to have it?" Dr. Balderdash: T. P. James thought that the ghost of Charles Dickens told him it was his destiny to help people, both children and their parents, grasp how important it is for humans to create both beauty, and logic. Q: So, you mean, he was completely insane? Dr. Balderdash: No. He may have been partially delusional. He may have sometimes been dishonest, and even a hoaxster. But when we read his notebooks, you can see he really is sincere. And, to make it more interesting, or, concerning, the people he wanted to reach, to help, was us, people living long after he died. In his own words, "Dickens tells me that there will be a time when people will start to believe that machines are better at logic then they are." (The meaning of the pronoun "they" is a little unclear here.) "And if that was not bad enough, they will allow machines to draw and paint for them. Dickens says it's okay to use goggles. Or, Google? I am not sure I heard him right. But AI is hideous. I just think it's sad." Q: This whole story is unbelievable. So why should we believe that there is really a vase with a hundred dollars in it? Or, if there is one, it seems obvious T. P. James had nothing to do with it. Dr. Balderdash: My name may be Dr. Balderdash, but at the University of Brattleboro, we never lie about the treasure hunts we create. I take no offense if you think I am lying, but know that there is a dragonfly vase and it is in Chicago and it does have $100 inside of it. Also, for every year that this puzzle goes unsolved, we will add another $100 to the vase. And if you send proof you decoded the message, we will send a $100 check. Plus, you get the bragging rights that you beat AI. As for having any part in the hiding of the vase, stop and think a second. I only get paid $75 to take part in these columns, and I don't currently have a paying job. Do you think I could afford to take a trip all the way to Chicago, and take the time to hide $100 in a Japanese vase? That would be absurd. Rolf Parker runs the University of Brattleboro, www.universityofbrattleboro.com, the oldest, non-existent university in New England. He funds the third Thursday poetry reading events at the Harmony Gallery in Brattleboro with t-shirt sales. These sales also are used to pay for the cost associated with offering smoking cessation classes. T-Shirt scan be found at the aforementioned Harmony Gallery on Elliot Street. Contact him at booksfromvermont@yahoo.com. Put "University of Brattleboro" in the subject line.