'Ready or Not: Here I Come' Bafflingly Misunderstands What Made the Original So Great

This article contains mild spoilers for "Ready or Not: Here I Come." Comfort movies can come in all kinds of packages, and because I love the idea of a scorned woman taking charge, killing rich folk and getting covered in blood, "Ready or Not" is one of them. Coming out right before the world shut down, the 2019 survival horror comedy remains such a smart and inventive takedown of the elite with a centerpiece performance from the ever-talented scream queen Samara Weaving. I was extremely skeptical when filmmaking duo Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, otherwise known as Radio Silence, announced that they were returning to direct a sequel. Learning that not only would Weaving once again lace up those bloody yellow chucks, but that she would also gain a sister in "Lisa Frankenstein" star Kathryn Newton seemed like a winning combo. I was practically primed to fawn over the sequel, which is why it brings me no pleasure to report that "Ready or Not: Here I Come" is a total wash that bafflingly misunderstands what made the original film so memorable. We pick up immediately where the last one ended (down to the same shot) with Grace MacCaullay (Samara Weaving) sitting on the front steps of the LeDomas manor after watching the remaining survivors explode into blood bags. If being hunted by your spineless husband and his murderous in-laws wasn't hard enough, the bloody bride later wakes in the hospital handcuffed to the bed with her estranged sister, Faith (Kathryn Newton), initiating the first conversation they've had in years. It's not too long after their surprise reunion when Grace and Faith are kidnapped and taken to a secure location. You would think the LeDomases' failure to kill the new addition to their family before dawn would have been the end of this whole ordeal, but all it really did was present a power grab opportunity. Alas, there are an assortment of other rich families around the world whose wealth also happens to be indebted to the satanic entity known as Mr. LeBail. They're all part of a secret organization that essentially runs the world, and with the LeDomas family leaving an empty throne, everyone wants it. The only way to secure it is by killing the MacCaullay siblings before dawn in a double or nothing, high-stakes game of hide and seek. "Here I Come" is very reminiscent of "John Wick: Chapter 2" in that it pulls back the curtain on a murderous underground system we didn't know was there the whole time. In case you weren't already aware of how much this creative team loves that movie, the families that make up this new game refer to themselves as the High Council. They even receive a mass text informing them of the new "contract" at play. Guy Busick and R. Christopher Murray both return to pen the sequel, which is strange because "Here I Come" reads like it was written by their lesser talented replacements. There's a clear attempt to broaden the scope of Mr. LeBail's stronghold through convoluted mythology that, unlike "John Wick," actively makes the whole affair significantly less interesting. In the first "Ready or Not," the story of the LeDomases' pact is regaled by the great Henry Czerny who presents it as a moody campfire tale that may or may not even be real. Every mention of the rules in its wake are treated as jokes or bylaws this family hilariously decides isn't worth following. Whereas in here, the game is treated like gospel to the extent that they keep introducing new between-the-lines regulations at the expense of the film's momentum and soul. Pulling the hide and seek card played into the thematic throughline of the LeDomases' wealth being so closely tied to the gaming dominion (their words) they amassed. Its inclusion feels so lazy here on account of the families all sharing different trades, so the game is little more than an excuse to do the same thing all over again (but this time it sucks). It also doesn't help that this ensemble is made up of an instantly forgettable batch of opportunistic rich pricks bound by tired clichés playing the most lame-gerous game. Absent is the nuance of Grace's original seekers, whose greatest appeal was they suck at it and have no idea how to take her down as per Mr. LeBail's instructions. They balanced their evil deeds with individual reasons for selling their soul as opposed to these people. What made "Here I Come" an interesting prospect is that, in the seven years since the original, the uber elite have become an even more nefarious symbol of injustice. The absence of accountability fuels an even greater desire to see these monsters get what's coming to them. It also stands to chance that they would present an even more ruthless threat with the double or nothing odds in their favor. But the nuance present in the first film is all but lost in a collection of greatest hits that don't hit nearly the same. Throughout "Here I Come" is this thematic throughline of sibling dilemmas as demonstrated between Grace and Faith and the Danforth twins, Titus (Shawn Hatosy) and Ursula (Sarah Michelle Gellar). There are some potentially interesting ties to parallel the two groups, but sadly, Weaving and Newton are trapped in an estranged sister plot that feels shamelessly cut, copied and pasted from Radio Silence's two "Scream" films. Any progress between the two women is lost in derivative dialogue that tells very little about them as characters. "Here I Come" also suffers from a bewildering tonal dissonance that can be best encapsulated in the sequence where Grace is participating in a humorous pepper spray fight set to "Total Eclipse of the Heart," all while poor Faith is beaten within an inch of her life in a dimly lit hallway. This isn't to say that there's not a mean streak present in the first "Ready or Not" but rather that it was more refined and focused. That film appeals to your anticipation when Grace is about to impale her hand on a nail. Seeing Dr. Abbott from "The Pitt" mercilessly wail on a defenseless Newton just isn't fun and doesn't offer any greater insight into his character other than he's a sadistic piece of work (and a boring one at that). It's impossible to avoid comparisons considering "Here I Come" does everything in its power to remind you of how much better everything was done in that film. The truly innocent party in all of this is Weaving, who returns with her blood-soaked wedding dress and that famous bird scream of hers. She's clearly game, but this terrible script consistently fails her, that is, until the finale where it finally seems like we're getting somewhere new, only to fall back into its old tricks. "Here I Come" is full of retcons, yet thankfully this forgettable and strangely unpleasant follow-up doesn't intrude upon anything that made the original great. It proves that a sequel was wholly unnecessary from the get-go and that it's okay to let games end while the winner is still ahead. "Ready or Not: Here I Come" is now playing in theaters nationwide.