Slashing Through the Snow: Ranking Every Silent Night, Deadly Night Movie

In 1984, the holiday horror slasher "Silent Night, Deadly Night" was immediately enveloped in controversy as parental groups around the country decried the film's marketing campaign, which depicted the image of a killer Santa Claus brandishing an ax. Gene Siskel even joined in on the dogpile by not so much reviewing the film but lambasting the producers with "Your profits truly are blood money." Sure, Gene. The pearl-clutching moral panic of a movie most protestors hadn't even seen was laughable and naturally played right into the producers' hands. It's almost like if you tell people that something is so evil and depraved that you shouldn't see it, it only generates an even greater curiosity. After two weeks, however, Tri-Star Pictures caved and pulled "Silent Night, Deadly Night" from most theaters but only Boston venues continued to play it for four more weeks. What followed was the strangest string of sequels to any horror franchise. Just to show you how crazy this gets, there's a scene in "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5" where a character watches "Silent Night, Deadly Night 4," which features a character watching "Silent Night, Deadly Night 3" on television, which is connected to a character from "Silent Night, Deadly Night 2" who then watches the original "Silent Night, Deadly Night" in theaters. It's all one big holiday horror kaleidoscope in which some cinematic freaks have more to offer than others. Silent Night (2012) How is a holiday slasher with Santa feeding someone into a woodchipper this boring? What really brings "Silent Night," the first remake of "Silent Night, Deadly Night," down is that it's easily the most derivative film of the bunch. This time, the Santa murders kick off with strangulation by way of Christmas lights. As bodies pile up in small town Cryer, Wis., members of local law enforcement (Malcolm McDowell and Jaime King) are dumbfounded as to who is behind the stabbings, disemboweling and torchings. Director Steven C. Miller sticks to the slasher formula, which can be fine in isolation, but "Silent Night" simply doesn't have much of a personality, nor memorable antagonist. The whodunnit angle shares more in common with "Scream," although the reveal doesn't work because it's presented as a cheeky coda that none of the protagonists ever learn about. For a series that gets so weird, the listless by-the-numbers approach of "Silent Night" just doesn't cut it. 6) Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 - Better Watch Out! Getting "Two-Lane Blacktop" filmmaker Monte Hellman to direct "Silent Night, Deadly Night 3" is a very odd choice and it shows. Impossible as it may seem, the series' first direct-to-video sequel serves as an extremely loose follow-up to its hilarious predecessor, with Billy Moseley playing killer Ricky Caldwell instead of Eric Freeman (more on that later). He awakens from his coma after accidentally making a mental connection with a clairvoyant blind girl named Laura (Samantha Scully), and this time, he's got a big ol' exposed brain helmet on his head. Hellman brings a certain flair, especially in the eerie dream sequence that opens the film, but "Better Watch Out" is a shockingly dull affair that can't quite pick a lane. There's a notable lack of suspense amid drawn-out sequences of characters doing nothing but walking around. I'd have appreciated it more if Hellman just abandoned the mandated slasher angle and went full dreamscape. I will say though that I was greatly amused by the sheer amount of David Lynch alum in this (Richard Beymer, Eric DaRe and Laura Herring). 5) Silent Night, Deadly Night (2025) Director Mike P. Nelson's contemporary reimagining of the '80s slasher classic envisions Billy as a slasher antihero amalgamation of "Dexter" and "Venom." To the film's credit, it's a remake that pulls elements of the original film and twists them into something different. This new "Silent Night, Deadly Night," however, feels trapped in a strangely stagnant tonal imbalance where the more Hallmark-esque dramatic beats fall flat against scenes of Billy slicing and dicing naughty people. I'm a defender of the highly divisive "Halloween Ends" and Rohan Campbell's performance as Corey Cunningham. I think he's got this potent mix of puppy dog innocence and violence in his eyes that he shows in Billy. But in sanding off his edges, the killer Santa angle doesn't leave much of an impact, psychologically or otherwise. I can see why they're selling the sequence where Billy lays waste to an entire barn of Nazi scum, though I wish it looked better. 4) Silent Night, Deadly Night - Part 2 If you've ever seen the infamous "Garbage Day" clip circulating YouTube, you have this movie to thank. Lee Harry's "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2" is truly a classic in the pantheon of best worst movies ever made. At 88 minutes, this bizarre sequel spends the first 40 minutes as an extensive recap of the first movie. The truncated re-edit is all worth it though for one reason: Eric Freeman as Ricky Caldwell. Although it's not until the climax when Ricky puts on the Santa suit, he spends every second of this acting like an alien trying to imitate a psychopath. Freeman is clearly having so much fun as a free-range lunatic that you can't help but root for him, especially when he strangles a loudmouthed patron in a movie theater. His performance, which consists of crazy eyebrows, stunted line deliveries and one of the greatest evil laughs in movie history, simply defies the nature of ratings. 3) Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation Any movie that opens with Clint Howard eating a bug-infested hamburger found off the street while a woman engulfed in flames falls off a roof is a surefire way to grab my attention. With the combined efforts of filmmaker Brian Yuzna and special effects wizard Screaming Mad George comes a delightfully strange "Silent Night, Deadly Night" movie that has very little to do with the holidays but is no less interesting. It follows an investigative reporter named Kim (Maud Adams) who falls down a rabbit hole of witches, goopy hallucinations, squirm-inducing body horror and lots of bugs. For the second direct-to-video sequel in a series that started with a Santa Claus killer, the "Rosemary's Baby"-inspired "Initiation" gets a lot of mileage out of its free rein creativity. 2) Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker Mickey Rooney was one of the most prominent celebrity voices during the "Silent Night, Deadly Night" protest, saying "the scum who made that movie should be run out of town." Seven years later, he would find himself playing the toy shop owner Joe Petto in Martin Kitrosser's "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker." It's by far the series' second-best installment with a collection of Screaming Mad George-designed killer toys blowing holes in chests and a toy worm wriggling through someone's eye socket. The best of the bunch is a deadly remote-control car loaded with blades, spikes and buzzsaws from every angle. Christmas is front and center with a deranged twist on "Pinocchio" that creates a surprisingly eerie, if not goofy mystery with a whole bunch of reveals. I feel represented by the girl who asks a mall Santa for a copy of Yuzna's "Bride of Re-Animator" on VHS. 1) Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) 40 years since it caused a stir, Charles E. Sellier Jr.'s "Silent Night, Deadly Night" remains an exceptional holiday exploitation cult classic that's better than its reputation suggests. Robert Brian Wilson has such a sweet, boyish face that you don't want to see him become broken down by his holiday trauma, yet feels inevitable in this naughty world he's been conditioned to punish. No recreation can recapture the image of Linnea Quigley being implanted on a pair of antlers. You know the protestors hadn't actually seen the film since they were so busy clutching their pearls with the killer Santa stuff that they missed the psychosexual angle between Billy and the strict Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin) staring them in the face. "Silent Night, Deadly Night" is a perverse and very mean addition to the canon of '80s slashers, and that's why it's still the best.