Darn, I Left My Shake Weight at the Gym!

I was at the gym the other day sitting at the calf press machine. It's usually my final exercise of my not-too-exerting workout routine because it's the easiest one. I treat it kind of like dessert. It's the treat at the end of the serious meat and potatoes. As I looked out at the sea of machines on the gym floor, it got me to thinking about various workout equipment through the ages and wondered if it would make an interesting article. I go to the "judgement-free zone" that is Planet Fitness and you see a lot of people contemplating life during the rest period between sets on any given machine. Sometimes it seems like these moments of resting reflection go on for an inordinate amount of time but who am I to judge? I was sitting there, spacing out, thinking about what to write an article about. Physical fitness and different exercises and tools have been around as long as humans have populated earth so rather than fall into the rabbit hole of trying to write an over-arching piece on the history of fitness equipment, I thought I'd take a look at some of the more questionable workout devices that have come and gone over the years. One of my first memories of home fitness equipment is the bizarre fat burning belted machine that vibrated. One of my boyhood friend's moms had one and it looked kind of like a height and weight scale you see in doctors' offices except that it had a wide belt attached to it. My friend's mom would stand on the platform with the belt around her waist and turn the machine on, leaning into the belt, away from the machine. It didn't really seem to be doing much other than buzz loudly and make her look like she was shaking slightly. I guess it was shaking the fat off. The Ab Wheel and the Ab Roller; the names of these two machines seem to be somewhat interchangeable but there's two different devices here. One is a terrifying looking wheel with two handles on it that is supposed to strengthen your abdominal muscles when you grab the knobs and roll into a plank position from your knees and then back again. I can almost feel a twinge in my lower back just watching somebody use it and, indeed, if not used correctly, can result in injury according to various online search results. The other machine is a simple C-shaped device that you basically just lie on the floor and grip while rolling into a sit-up position. I'm not sure why you wouldn't just do plain old sit-ups but at least it doesn't look like it would leave you in traction. Speaking of fairly innocuous exercise fads, who doesn't remember Suzanne Somers extolling the virtues of the Thigh Master? Probably one of the most successful informercials ever, the Thigh Master is a relatively simple device made up of a padded metal tube on a spring hinge that when squeezed between one's thighs can exercise your hip abductors. Though invented far earlier, it was Suzanne's '90s infomercials that made sales of the Thigh Master soar, though not the most effective way to tone the entire thigh or burn fat. It turns out the list of wacky exercise devices is endless. When I was chatting with a couple guys at the gym about weird devices, another one was mentioned I'd never heard of — Shake Weights! I did a little search and indeed found a lot of information about Shake Weights and most of it was humorous. I saw one review that said the videos advertising Shake Weights were almost not suitable for work and I wondered why. Shake Weights look like a regular dumbbell but inside are weights on each end attached to springs that vibrate when shaken. The idea is that this "Dynamic Inertia technology" increases muscle activity by taxing all sorts of stabilizer muscles that a regular dumbbell doesn't. Well, the results are greatly disputed online. Some people love Shake Weights, others just like laughing at the somewhat embarrassing videos on YouTube. Check it out and you'll see why.